Strengths:

• Driving a stick shift

• Surprisingly muscular calves for my size

• I’m a millennial unaffected by the recession (not jaded) and on the cusp of Gen Z (embedded in the zeitgeist)

Weaknesses:

• I’ve only seen half of The Godfather because I started it at 11 PM and didn’t get back to it before the rental period expired

• I get stressed out by drive-thrus

• I tear up during scenes with a poignant piano song, even if the movie is bad

Vices:

• Compulsively researching things that scare me (e.g., nukemap)

• Reading the text conversations of people sitting next to me on the subway

• Telling myself I should work on any one of my unfinished short stories